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    I hate the skydome and the CN Tower too
    I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo
    The rents too high, the airs unclean
    The beaches are dirty and the people are mean
    And the women are big and the men are dumb
    And the children are loopy 'cause they live in a slum
    The water is polluted and the mayor's a dork
    They dress real bad and they think they're New York
    In Toronto, Ontario

    "You know, actually I think I hate all of Ontario"

    I hate Thunder Bay and Ottawa
    Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa
    London sucks and the Great Lakes suck
    And Sarnia sucks and Turkey Point Sucks

    I took a trip to ONtario to visit Brian Mulrooney
    He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree
    I went to see the Maple Leafs and got hit in the head with a puck

    "I don't even know how they did it, I was playing the orgon at the time!"

    Ontariio Sucks

    "actually, now tha I really think about it, I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country!Except Alberta, yeah I love Alberta, lots of cows, trees, rocks, dirt"

    I hate Newfoundland 'cause they talk so weird
    And Prince Edward Island is too small
    Nova Scotia's dumb 'cause it's the name of a bank
    New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall
    Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad
    Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks,

    "Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer. NOw isn't that stupid!?"

    Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old
    And as for the territories, they're too cold!

    And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that it's right next to us!"

    'cause Alberta doesn't suck
    But Calgary does

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