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    The table's set ant the turkey's out
    Christmas is here, let out a shout
    The family's gathered all about
    Christmas, christmas is here!
    Everyone is wearing big smiles
    They all try to act nice for a while
    Then george calls his in-laws vile
    Christmas, christmas is here!

    Always at one time of the year
    When everyone's problems disappear
    And everyone smiles from ear to ear
    Christmas, christmas is here!

    George has been drinking a lot
    He just can't keep out of the sauce
    He says his wife's been screwing her boss
    Christmas, christmas is here!
    Margaret throws her food in his face
    People are hungry, it's really a waste
    Then she screams, "how does that taste?"
    Christmas, christmas is here!

    Always at one time of the year
    When everyone's problems disappear
    And everyone smiles from ear to ear
    Christmas, christmas is here!

    George picks up the carving knife
    Weilds it around and starts to slice
    Henry cocks his shotgun twice
    Christmas, christmas is here!
    Henry says, "hey, what's the deal?
    Just sit down and finish your meal
    Or i'll pump you full of steel!"
    Christmas, christmas is here!

    Always at one time of the year
    When everyone's problems disappear
    And everyone smiles from ear to ear
    Christmas, christmas is here!

    Police arrive just after eight
    Responding to a noise complaint
    Open the door, what a grisly fate
    Christmas, christmas is here!
    Fa la la and deck the halls
    Blood was spattered on the walls
    Merry christmas, one and all!
    Christmas, christmas is here!

    Always at one time of the year
    When everyone's problems disappear
    And everyone smiles from ear to ear
    Christmas, christmas is here!

    Always at one time of the year
    When everyone's problems disappear
    And everyone smiles from ear to ear
    Christmas, christmas is here!

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