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    As a little boy i dreamed of playing rock and roll
    Playing in stadiums with every ticket sold
    Seven figure income from a six string guitar
    Dating gorgeous women and drivin' custom cars
    Then it happened when my record went gold
    Now i'm thinking what'll i do when i get old?
    Can't live forever as the king of rock
    That's why i'm investing in some blue chip stock

    I got sex, drugs, and rrsps
    I'm a rock and roller with financial security
    Sex, drugs and rrsps
    I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.

    I'm a modern rebel with a cause
    I like finding loopholes in the new tax laws
    My fans are reading 'bout me in the rolling stone
    While i'm talking to my broker on the telephone.
    On stage i run around like some animal
    But all my money's in a compound annual
    This life is dangerous but i don't care
    'cause i got insurance on my guitar and my hair!

    I got sex, drugs, and rrsps
    I'm a rock and roller with financial security
    Sex, drugs and rrsps
    I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.

    We used to be such a happy band..
    Phil and nick and bob and stan
    But phil choked on his vomit
    And then nick choked on his vomit
    And then stan choked on his vomit
    And then so did bob.

    What a bunch of idiots!

    Their deaths sure meant an awful lot to me
    'cause now i'm getting all their royalties
    They would have spent them on women and booze
    But me i got commodities that just can't lose!

    I got sex, drugs, and rrsps
    I'm a rock and roller with financial security
    Sex, drugs and rrsps
    I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.

    I got sex, drugs, and rrsps
    I'm a rock and roller with financial security
    Sex, drugs and rrsps
    I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.
    I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.
    I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity!!!
    Hey guys, i brought beer!

    History is made by stupid people

    Scott became famous for freezing to death in antarctica
    Columbus made history thinking some island was india
    General custer's a national hero for not knowing when to run
    All of these men are famous
    And they're also very dumb

    History is made by stupid people
    Clever people wouldn't even try
    If you want a place in the history books
    Then do something dumb before you die

    Nobility are famous for no reason
    Mary antoinette enjoyed her cake
    She caused a revolution when she would not share
    And her husband lost his head for that mistake

    The hindenburg was a giant zepplin
    Its makers made a minor oversight
    Before they filled it up with explosive gas
    They should have fixed the no-smoking light
    'cause...

    History is made by stupid people
    Clever people wouldn't even try
    If you want a place in the history books
    Then do something dumb before you die

    Tally-ho! tally-ho!
    Our king and country's honour we will save!
    Tally-ho! tally-ho!
    We're marching into history and the grave!

    So if your son and daughter seem too lazy
    Sitting there watching bad tv
    Just remember you should be quite grateful
    At least they are not making history
    'cause...

    History is made by stupid people
    Clever people wouldn't even try
    If you want a place in the history books
    Then do something dumb before you die
    Yes...
    Do something dumb before you die
    Yes...
    Do something dumb before you die

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