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    Let me tell you a story about scary ned
    Scariest guy to ever wet a bed
    He had hands on his arms and eyes on his head
    But they weren't his

    He'd go down to the market and try to scare the fish
    He said that they bothered him, they weren't his favorite dish
    Then he'd go down to the highway and pretend that he was dead
    That just the way he was, creepy scary ned

    Ooohh oohhhhh scary ned

    Ned loved halloween cuz he didn't need a mask
    He'd steal the children's candy, he didn't even ask
    He'd sit right down in front of them and then he'd start to eat
    He'd tell them they were better off cuz that stuff can rot your teeth

    Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh scary ned

    A strange glow would come from his place late into the night
    He'd watch t.v. 'til the dawn, you know that ain't right
    If he started to get tired he'd rub sauerkraut on his head
    That's just the kind of guy he was, good old scary ned

    Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh scary ned

    He had a face his mother didn't love
    When people saw on the street they often said "uughh!"
    Sometimes late at night he'd walk alone
    He'd be reciting stuff
    Bad sounding stuff
    Icky awful stuff
    But when you got to know him, he weren't so bad

    Ooohh oohhhhh scary ned
    Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh scary ned

    Ooohh oohhhhh scary ned [this repeats to end over talking- k]
    He's pretty scary
    Scary ned
    Really scary
    Scary ned
    He's scary
    Hence the name
    Scary ned
    I saw him yesterday
    He said "hi"
    I got scared
    'cause he's
    Scary ned
    If he weren't scary
    I supposed he'd be called
    Like, happy ned
    And who wants to hear a song about
    Happy ned (happy ned)

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