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    There won't be any presents this christmas
    No goodies in your stocking
    The milk and cookies that the children left out
    Will be left untouched beside the sink
    The reindeer will be staying in their pens this year
    The elves haven't built any thing
    'cause santa got arrested
    Last christmas day

    Police got calls on 911
    About a red-suited man who weighed a ton
    There was a clear trail of evidence pointing north
    This was the seventh time it happened on december 24th

    The mounties reached the north pole
    They found it was outside their jurisdiction
    They called up interpol, the finnish police
    To facilitate the suspect's extradition
    They knocked on the door of a well-marked shop
    With a warrant for the owner's apprehension
    Then santa got arrested
    Christmas day

    Santa was charged with b&e
    His council advised he plead guilty
    There was footage of the crime running on tv
    And photographs of little children sitting on his knee

    The judge expressed concern about the risk of recidivism
    His sentence was commuted
    He got a bond of nonassociation with the elves
    And his reindeer licence was suspended
    He says he's giving up all of his former life
    And now he wants to be a dental assistant
    'cause santa got arrested
    Santa got arrested
    Santa got arrested
    Last christmas day

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