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    Oh, johnny was a tall man but his memory was short
    He'd forget to at doorways and often he'd get hurt
    I took good care of him for he had no family
    Actually he did, but he forgot who they be

    Johnny often liked to go out on the town
    He'd forget where he'd be going so he'd just wander around
    I when he was back for i would hear the smack
    Of his head hitting the doorway but tonight it was alack

    Johnny came home headless, it was a great disgrace
    But wherever it's a-lying there's a smile upon his face
    I should have seen it coming, he finally lost his mind
    But if his head don't turn up soon then all his hats are mine

    Johnny came towards me but suddenly he stopped
    As if trying to think of something but having no luck
    Still he didn't notice that his head weren't there
    'til he took out a brush and tried to comb his hair

    I said, "johnny where's your cranium?" but he didn't seem to know
    He just shrugged his shoulders and tried to find his nose
    And the sight of him there topless made me start to cry
    For i learned we'd ne'er see eye to eye

    Johnny came home headless, it was a great disgrace
    But wherever it's a-lying there's a smile upon his face
    I should have seen it coming, he should have stayed in bed
    For now i fear he'll spend his life just trying to get ahead

    Refusing to believe that he had split for good
    His lower half and me searched the neighbourhood
    It soon became apparent that his head we wouldn't find it
    He could not retrace his steps, he was absent minded

    Well years went by til late one night i heard a voice i swore
    Was johnny calling out to me, i flung open the door
    Johnny's head was home, it took a taxi cab
    Alas, it was too late, his body had gone bad

    Johnny's head was homeless, his body was cremated
    And the funeral was harder than he had anticipated
    I should of seen it coming he said in his eulogy
    But never thought i'd have to say i ain't got no-body

    (i ain't got nobody)

    Johnny came home headless, it was a great disgrace
    But now his head's upon a shelf, a smile upon his face
    But now his head's upon a shelf, a smile upon his face

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