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    Hey kid, why the long face
    Is it cuz santa clause is flying right over your place
    You've been a bad kid all year
    So quit you snivellin' sucker now and mop up them tears
    You don't deserve a damn thing
    You're not even cute and your attitude stinks
    It must suck to be you
    Nobody likes you so what can you do
    You think you got problems kid, you think you got strife
    But come each december do you fear for your life
    Oh well, i'm your turkey, baby, so your troubles are small
    Now i'm stuffed on your table, i'm a tasty butterball

    Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues
    If you got your necked ripped out then you'd have them too
    Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues
    You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too
    Let's take a walk! gobble, gobble baby!

    You sir, you look like heck
    Didn't you get your christmas bonus cheque
    Or maybe your woman left you
    Ripped your heart right out of your chest and spat on it too
    Is that why you're reeking of gin
    You look disheveled and there's drool on your chin
    You thought that this love would last
    But she said, "merry christmas, baby" and she booted your ass
    Well that's tough for you mister, too bad about your ordeal
    How about getting stuffed in the wintertime, see how you feel
    I don't get to yank no bones or make me a wish
    It won't be long 'til i'm just some scraps on your dish

    Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues
    If your butt was stuffed and roasted then you'd have then too
    I've got the christmas turkey blues
    You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too

    Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues
    Oh, you know what it's like having the christmas turkey blues, baby?
    I tell you -- hey, what are you doing with that axe?
    Oh no, oh no, oh no, baby, no!
    Well, now that i'm here on your plate, what do you want?
    You want some white meat or some dark meat, leg, breast, or thigh?
    Hey, you ought to see my giblet you know
    Oh, oh, oh!
    Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues
    Wouldn't you just rather have some ham, or how about some chicken...

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