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    I used to lead a quiet life
    In fact it was a bare existence
    I passed out on many floors
    I don't do that any more

    Hello my friends
    Is everybody happy?
    Hey look me over
    Lend me an ear
    I'm a conservative

    I like the small black marks on my hands
    I'm a conservative
    I like the crazy girls that I screw
    Hey I know them all well

    And when I run out of bread I laugh
    All the way to the bank
    Sometimes I pause for a drink
    Conservatism ain't no easy job

    I smile in the mornings
    I live without a care
    Nothing is denied me
    And nothing ever hurts

    I got bored so I'm making my millions
    When you're conservative you get a better break
    You're always on the rigltt side
    When you're conservative

    You walk with pride
    Pride is on your side
    Pride pride pride
    Is on our side
    Oh boy
    Pride is on our side

    I like my beer
    I like my bread
    I love my girl
    I love my head

    I'm in the clear man
    I'm in the dear
    Because I'm a conservative
    I'm a conservative
    I really am

    And it would mean so much to me
    If you would only be like me
    Yes it could mean so much to me

    Hey look me over
    Lend me an ear
    I'm a conservative

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