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    * sung to the same tune as Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train" *
    Shean's a cheese and he hits on ugly girls
    He thinks that he's the best drinker in the world
    But Dan knows that he can drink Shean under the table
    Because he's here - he's ready, willing and he's able
    Why was Shean in the bathroom for an hour?
    Could it be he's doing laundry in the shower?
    Can't pay for cigarettes or even for his rent
    He doesn't have it but it already is spent
    You lazy, stinking, fucking slob
    Get off your ass and get a job
    Maybe then we wouldn't have to see you here...
    (chorus:)
    Runaway Shean - never come back
    Run away to that house that sells crack
    Get your fucking ass out of my house
    I'd rather live with a cockroach or a mouse
    Shean comes home real drunk and he wishes
    That tiny elves have cleaned up all the dishes
    He's on a diet of spaghetti and baked beans
    His smelly feet can make your face turn green
    What are all these empty cans doing right here?
    Oh, I forgot... it's Shean's admission to "Free Beer"
    He'll get real drunk tonight and then what will he do?
    Probably start a fight with Pi Alpha Nu
    If you come home and break a glass
    Brett's gonna kick you in your ass
    Why don't you just pass out on the couch?
    (and then we'll sign you out)
    * repeat chorus *
    Shean gets dissed by girls like thirty times a week
    Sometimes he gets so mad he hardly even speaks
    But that's alright with me - you know I'm not complaining
    It just means more air time for me that I am gaining...
    * repeat chorus 2x and fade out *
    DEDICATED TO THE CREW AT 244 ONTARIO STREET -
    THE SUMMER OF '93... ALBANY, NEW YORK.....
    .. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!

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