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    It was a terrible day. my legs felt like four pounds of cheese in a two-pound bag. i didn't know what to do. my eyes were bloodshot, and actually my legs were bloodshot as well. it was strange,
    Was happy. i got into my car. i decided i was going to leave the city. gonna go south, gonna have a holiday.

    So i got in my car and i wondered why it wasn't running and then i realized i didn't have any keys. so i went in the house, found my keys, came back out, started the car, and drove down the high

    The highway shimmered like black incense on the bald head of a buddhist monk. i drove down the highway and i got to that big city of miami. the steaming, seedy city - the city that's so seedy, t
    Ve trees there. well i went into the nearest hotel and i went up to the door and i said, "i'd like a room." then i realized i was outside and i had to go inside. so i went inside and i
    Ed up to the desk and i said, "i'd like a room, please."

    They said allright, and they gave me a key. then i turned around, and there waiting for me was the concierge.

    Concierge! (repeated many times)

    Well he looked at me, then i looked at him, then he looked back at me, and then i took a putty knife and i rubbed it against his cheeks in a very provocative way. and he turned around and said,
    ;follow me."

    So i followed him up the stairs. i went to my room. he opened the door for me, and then he hit me in the back of the head with a big silver shovel. i said, "what's that about?"

    He said, "you get it free with the room." who was i to argue?

    And i went in. my whole room was covered with soap. little soaps, all over the room, everywhere! in the bed, on the ceiling, everywhere! i said, "what's with the soap?"

    And he says, "what, you don't like soap?"

    I said, "no, i'll take it, thanks."

    He left the room, and then gave me a stare that almost turned my blood to blood. anyway, i lay down on the bed, and it was a hot day so i was tossing and turning, and tossing and turning. and th
    E soap started to lather up and lather up! and i was gonna die! i was gonna suffocate! so i called the front desk, and they sent up the concierge!

    Concierge! (repeated many times)

    Well he looked at me up and down, and he looked at me like i was four pounds of shit in a two- pound bag. and i looked back at him like he was four pounds of shit in a four-pound bag. and then h
    Ked at me like i was six pounds of shit in a pound-and-a-half-bag. and i looked at him like he was 18 kilograms of shit in a thimble. and then i stabbed him in the face. and then he bit my head
    Nd put it in a bag. and that's when i fell in love with the concierge.

    Concierge! (repeated many times)

    Now we live in a small beach house on a small beach on long island - it's a long, small island, but i love it well. and he loves me well. and sometimes we take a trip down the highway that's gli
    Ng like a buddhist monk with incense ablaze, and we think of the day we first met - me, and the concierge.


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