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    Your Uncle Walter's going on and on
    Bout everything he's seen and done
    The voice of 50 years experience
    Drunk, watching the television
    You know he's been around the world
    Last night he flew to Baghdad
    In his magical armchair
    Cigarettes and a six pack, he just got back
    Now the spit's flying everywhere

    Hey, hey, hey, hey (Your Uncle Walter's going on and on)
    You're back so late (Where did you go that you were gone so
    long)
    how could you leave me here so long
    With Uncle Walter

    Your Uncle Walter saw who fired the shots
    He drove his chair in the cavalcade
    He's flown from South Africa
    To countries where
    They beat themselves on the backs with chains
    There was a fleet of battleships
    And 1 reclining chair
    Headed north on the Arabian sea
    Now he's back and he'll tell us what
    He and his oldest boy Blair
    Are getting rich with their mail order scheme

    Oh, oh, oh, oh
    We're glad you're home
    But how could you leave me here so long
    With Uncle Walter

    Your Uncle Walter told me
    Everything he'd do if he was president
    Oh what a perfect world
    This world would be
    If he were President now

    And he sees the children
    Smoking pot
    He knows that in a moment
    They'll be shooting up heroin
    Teardrops in his armchair
    A 50 minute lecture
    And tobacco juice rolling down his chin

    Hey, hey, hey, hey
    You're back so late
    How could you leave me here so long
    With Uncle Walter

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