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    1 of 4...

    My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz
    I was born in 1-9-7-6, at Biosfet hospital, located in Long Island, NY
    I am 6 foot, four I weigh 2-0-0 pounds
    I have brown hair and green eyes
    I enjoy writing songs, painting, movies and diner food
    I have two brothers, Chris and Graham
    And two parents, Paul and Jameija
    In august of 2-0-0-1 I went crazy..

    This was originally not for public consumption
    This was made for four people... four people that literally saved my life
    They know who they are..
    And ahhh I mean I could live to be a thousand years old and never re-pay them
    I don't think this song would pay them
    But hopefully by putting it out, push the bank a little further..

    This ain't a burner for the whips (no it isn't)
    This ain't even Aesop Rock fly earthworm demeanor (no it isn't)
    My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz and I was born in Long Island, New York
    Seventy Six, before Graham and after Chris... OK
    In August of 2001 my seemingly splinter-proof brain bone, scaffolding imploded
    I kept it on the hush, but nearly tumbling
    To the cold hard concrete on near bodega trips
    For cigarettes and soda, shook me to casper
    Dizzy with a nausea chaser, motor sensory eraser
    Gorophobe tunnel vision, guilt, self loathing arrangements
    Rose rapidly out a bog I'd never fished in
    That abates three separate foreign meds
    While I use the hook line and sinker simple fishing
    Simple primitive self taught, easing of soul, mind and body
    But the symptoms rejected my cave-man modus operandi
    So now it's one fish belly up, through medicated mileage
    Shrinks that get 250 an hour for awkward silence
    And, I'd be lying if I said all of this
    Made even the slightest fragment of sense to me
    That's real... Simply put
    I don't know what happened, or what's still happening
    I literally feel like I'm teetering on the blunt edge of my sanity
    JAIME, I killed the robots and I'm sorry
    Broke down in front of you, embarrassed
    But you lent a heart and hand that only you could
    You're one of my best friends and yes I'd take that bullet for you
    That's my word, which is about all I have left
    TONY, I know you know I'm crazy, 'cause you told me
    But that did never bother you, I hold you as my brother 'til death
    And I got your back if ever the drunk goblin step
    For makin' a cat laugh, when I was walking with the dead
    KATHERINE, mother figure, older sister, concerned be a limits
    Letting me know I wasn't the only one with this
    Continuous offers for vacation, Chicago visits
    Talked me through repair of a head full of broken pistons
    RIYAH, for the late night movie rentals and the company I needed
    An' you knew it, but I just wouldn't admit it
    You listened to me blab about my issues for hours
    Offer incredible advice, gave me a hug when I was finished
    Am I a jack of all trades? Nope... I like to write songs tho'
    Are they good? I dunno..
    But I could tell you that I only write shit down when I believe it
    So take this how you want, but know I mean it
    I want you all to know that I'm scared
    Out my fuckin' crooked soul and never faced a monster like the last few months
    Ever in my whole life... I wish I could explain this better (I can't)
    But the pieces won't formulate it to anything even close to cohesive
    So I guess this is my feeble way to thank you
    Four soldiers that extended something sacred off the purity of kindness
    I owe you all my life and please don't argue with that statement
    'Cause without y'all I may not have a life to offer, take it

    Thank you
    I wish I could explain this better. (Thank you)
    I'm sorry for burdening your pleasures. (Thank you)
    I love you all with all that's left of me. (Thank you)
    For helping try to kill what made a mess of me. (Thank you)
    Somehow, someway. (Thank you)
    I'ma get you back someday. (Thank you)
    Just gotta figure this all out... So..

    I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back
    How one man can literally buckle under the same pressures
    Other men operate normally under
    I have soaked this out from all angles, walking through time
    I have been over everything in my head, still I can't think anymore
    But I guess some times, when you can't breathe, there are people there
    To breathe for you
    I am lucky enough to have those people around me
    Thank you for helping me to not die
    Thank you for helping me to not die

    Pocket full of pennies, and a soul gone tilt
    Cockpit full of memories and a dream full of guilt

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